Elsewhere in this paper some of the “major players” answer questions regarding their hopes fo r2009 and regrets of 2008.

Here we sneak into the act!

1 Your professional highlight of 2008: I dont need highlights. My hair is fine thank you.

2 Your biggest professional regret or failure of 2008: There was not a revolution.

3 Your biggest hope for 2009: That Essex Fire Service becomes the first in the country to buy an emergency helicopter. The idea is so ludicrous it would keep us in columns for months. They have them in America to fight forest fires so it will be useful to tackle any blazes in Essex’s massive forests. No doubt some of the fire service chiefs will be going on a fact-finding mission to California to check them out. While out there, they could also take part in an international snooker and home decorating competition.

4 Your biggest fear for 2009: That the greedy bankers, blinkered politicians and others who are to blame for the current economic crisis will be protected from its ramifications while, as usual, poor Joe Public will get the pain - as usual.

5 The best meal you enjoyed in 2008.

Having read all the news reports and dietary advice I dont think its safe to actually eat anything - except broccoli. No-one has a bad word to say about broccoli, which is typical, because it does not exactly taste like sausages does it.

6 Your favourite books and/or films of 2008.

Flat Earth News by Nick Davies which is a damning indictment of the newspaper industry and an eye-opener. For example... how many people died because of Chernobyl? Tens of thousands? 100,000? Nope, according to the World Health Organisation less than 70 people. How could you be so wrong with your guess? Read it and find out! Favourite film is undoubtedly a ten second clip of Gordon Brown bragging “there will be no return to the days of boom and bust” in the House of Commons.

7 The issue that raised your blood pressure most in 2008. Everything! Nothing in this country works properly. We have the fourth biggest economy in the world but name one sector of society which is admirable. The NHS, crime, transport, energy policy, armed services etc etc etc etc etc are all in need of massive improvements. But the great British public got most angry about what in 2008? Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand. We get the society and the politicians we deserve.

8 A big question you would like answered: Is there really life after death and, if there is, how is my balance sheet looking?

Tendring Talk is an irreverant, controversial and unofficial look at local life. Contributions are more than welcome but it should be expressed the views here-in do not represent those of the Gazette, or of Newsquest, its parent company.